The Weight of Unshed Tears is the story I never thought I’d be brave enough to tell. It’s a deeply personal memoir about growing up in a household defined by abuse, silence, and fear—a place where emotions, especially tears, were seen as weaknesses. This belief shaped my life in ways I couldn’t fully understand at the time, leading to years of numbing my pain with food, addiction, and self-destructive choices.

I began therapy in my early 20s, working on unrelenting depression, PTSD, anxiety, and eating disorders. I was making progress in accepting my past and moving forward toward healing. The breaking point came in 2014 when my brother—whose sociopathic tendencies had terrorized my family for years—murdered our mother before taking his own life. That tragedy shattered me but also forced me to confront the lifelong trauma I thought I had come to terms with. An intense journey of survival, self-discovery, and personal transformation followed.

This memoir is about more than the pain I endured. It’s about finding my voice after years of shame and silence, about the strength I discovered through faith, and recreating a life as a once-shattered person. Trying to find a purpose in pain led me to work with foster children, where I ultimately adopted my teenage daughter. Our shared trauma has provided us with insight into how our lives were shaped and how to move forward. 

Through sharing my story, I hope to connect with others who feel trapped and alone in their struggles. I want to remind them that healing, though not easy, is possible. 

The Weight of Unshed Tears is not just a memoir about loss and trauma. It’s about resilience, the power of vulnerability, and the courage it takes to break free from the chains of the past.